Big Brother BETTING: Post spitgate

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The fallout from FIGHT NIGHT has been huge, with brainless Big Brother contestants once again lurching to the false conclusion that people would appreciate having their bad points told to them on a daily basis - preferably in list form. That way, Jennifer can stomp into the boy's room whenever she's feeling bored, and explain to Rex that he is unpopular because he's posh, humourless, and makes her feel this small. But God forbid he reply in kind, else there will be tears.

Fight Night Losers

Jennifer - thundering her way to a world of boos with some abhorrent spitgate behaviour. Her total over-reaction caused the fight, and her relentless stirring of the pot in the aftermath will have alienated a massive portion of the female voters - many of whom will have been rooting for the plucky single mum. By flirting with both Dale and Stuart, she has morphed into an evil manipulator, and should she face eviction this week, she would almost certainly go.

Dale and Stuart - almost indistinguishable, their job appears to involve wandering about the house inadvertently making their pectoral muscles bounce, before talking earnestly to Jennifer about unmacho things like feelings and how they cry sometimes. By ganging up on Rex and Mohamed for little apparent reason, they ended up looking like a pair of prats. And Dale, in particular, is becoming increasingly moody and forlorn. Neither will win.

Rebecca - Pre-spitgate, Bex provided much needed comic relief in the house by being thick as a bucket of mud, but cheerful. She now resembles an infuriated teenager, and needs to stop sharing her "opinions" with the world. By bullying poor defenseless Kat, she didn't just shoot herself in the foot, she totally butchered both legs. She'll need a miracle to bounce back.

Fight Night Winners

Mario - Thanks to the surprisingly aggressive nature of the younger housemates, Mario has transformed from the "funny guy at work" (i.e. not remotely funny), into a kind of in-house Gandalf. He showed a cool head during the dramas, and even managed to calm down a raging Mo. Firmly established as an important member of the house, he could yet surprise everyone. Apart from his fans, Ant and Dec, of course. They already knew he was brilliant.

Darnell - Amongst the yammering paranoids, Darnell seems to be the most fair and clear headed (no pun). Fighting for the underdog - Mo - will have won him a big portion of the audience. A nice guy.

Mohamed - There's something impossible to hate about Mohamed, it might be that he has the look of a man who has spent his life inadvertently veering into the eye of the storm. He did nothing to warrant Dennis' disgusting saliva in his face, and he seems the least callous of the inmates. Will no doubt be nominated for weeks to come, but his lack of venom should see him safe.

Of the other housemates, Luke needs to stop bitching, it's ruining his comic vibe, Lisa should probably stop lying about her modeling credentials - there's just no need, we're not blind (except Mikey) - and Rachel and Kat would be wise to show some depth beneath the happy-clappy cookie songs. Big Brother winners must be well-rounded.

As for Rex – a total personality overhaul will be needed to keep him safe. Informing Bex of her fatness was probably his worst move yet – tubby girls can’t forgive.