American Idol BETTING: Six of the best

Waves of worry were forming at the thought of Kristy Lee Cook winning American Idol. A country and western hillbilly she appeared just shows away from taking the stage in a Confederate flag to sing old KKK numbers, pitchfork in hand. Had her brain been totally vacuumed, and replaced solely with pro-America slogans? No matter, she's gone now, and only the normal children are left... and David Cook.

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David Archuleta
In day to day speak, David struggles, constantly sounding like a wheezing old man desperately attempting to elongate his final breath. But give the kid a mic and a backing track, and boy oh boy - Randy thinks he could sing the phone book! Simon is in love with him, and Paula is convinced... that.. his soul is so.... pure... that... when he opens his heart... Oh Sweet Jesus, hurry up woman! The one to beat.

David Cook
Thoughtful David is so damn brainy he could probably pluck amazing words like "nuance" out of thin air if he wanted to - this makes him a very unusual customer. Also making him look weird is his thing for shouting songs, each one building up to a war-cry crescendo that leaves the whole of America totally agog. Who is this inspirational geek/goth? Here's who - he's Blake Lewis (Mr. Weirdo, runner up, 2007), and set for a top three finish.

Jason Castro
Wowed America with a stoned rant about how he likes the beach, but doesn't go there much, before petering out, gently giggling to himself. Large portions of voting girls will find him a bit dreamy, while to the rest of America he's the result of some more hippies they forgot to beat to death in the 60s. Won't win.

Brooke White
Brooke has delicious blonde hair and a nice smoky voice. Unfortunately she is wound so tight that her post-performance interviews are horrific to watch, and last week her nerves forced her to thunder her way through Hero by Mariah Carey like she was doing the Jive Bunny remix. Likely to be the top girl, she might yet cause a light ripple of upset.

Carly Smithson
Increasingly livid Carly roars through her songs as if she is shouting them directly into Simon Cowell’s face with a knife pressed to his throat. Plus her husband has his entire head tattooed, which frightens children. Hence she could never win.

Syesha Mercado
Syesha has a big, strong voice, but she somehow lacks the soul of contestants gone by. Her day job reads "actress" which probably goes some way to explaining why she seems overly polished for a show that looks for potential. That said, a black girl has always featured in the top five, so she should be safe for another week. Just.