American Idol BETTING: Top Eight

Little Boy all set to win this thing

Still there: Archuleta (1.84), David Cook (2.92), Johns (6.2), Carly Smithson (11), Syesha (21), Castro (23), White (25), Kristy Lee Cook (55)

Gutted, the only thing making this year's American Idol worth watching was the dinky little Filipino woman who could roar like a lion - she was hilarious, like a talking baby, or a dancing rabbit. And now she has gone. Gone back to her land of the small people to sing songs about Simon Cowell and the madwoman Paula Abdul. A land where they eat raisins for dinner.

But who is still there, being all boring and normal?

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David Archuleta

Appears to be drugged, heavy-eyed and wet-lipped when the judges are showering him with praise. Does he return backstage and just collapse? That aside, he's running away with it, thanks to having a great voice and huge teen appeal. With the show's popularity dwindling, the only demographic likely to have stayed on board are the teenage girls - they will love him.

David Cook

Not as original as he'd have you think, David isn't the first man to have made Billie Jean sound like a ballad by the devil. That said, he strikes the right balance of "daring" and "talented" that helped Blake Lewis get to the final last year.

Michael Johns

Far too earnest to win, Michael is so straight-faced that he could probably outstare Moira Stewart. His voice is strong, but foreigners don't make American Idols, and he's an Australian.

Carly Smithson

Tattooed Irish barmaid, she barely conceals a look of total shock whenever Simon doesn't think that she's brilliant. Ruined her own appeal a couple of weeks ago by bursting the American Idol bubble with a clumsy Blackbird metaphor about how she'd been in the industry for years but never made it. Idols need to be unknowns, at least in illusion.

Syesha Mercado

A black girl has always featured in the top five, so history dictates that Syesha should have at least another few weeks to play with. Working against her is that while her voice is strong, it doesn't stand alongside great soul acts from series gone by. Won't win.

Jason Castro

Everyone knows a Castro - he was the guy outside your favourite university pub blowing pointlessly into a didgeridoo, working his way through father's money. Hence the dreadlocks. So far he has survived on charm, needs a massive performance, or it'll be back to his allowance.

Brooke White

White has a great folk voice, but every time she stops singing she morphs into a happy-clappy Jesus idiot. She needs to stop that, and fast. Could yet be the surprise package.

Kristy Lee Cook

Awful, so devoid on anything that you might as well put an empty shell on stage and play a pre-recorded song called Sweet Baby Jesus, Isn't America Just Brilliant. That way Simon will find her impossible to criticise and "Empty Shell" might yet be the next American Idol.